Concealed No More
by LaineyGirl
Summary: This is just a description of all of the thougts,feelings and experiences that different cullens went through.
1. Pride, Rosalie

**pride,**

–noun 1. _a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc. _

Pride, Arrogance, Boastful, Conceit, Egoism

Rosalie

I was stunning when I was a human.

To say the least.

I had men drooling all over me every day. They would buy me gifts and write me songs.

No one could compare to me.

The girls in town despised me. They were jealous I suppose. With me around none of the men paid any attention to them, the plain ones. But who needs friends when you have your beauty, right?

I was my family's joy. Their beloved Rosalie with the face of an angel, skin as soft as petals and hair as golden as the sun. I could do no wrong. And on top of that I would bring in some income with my looks. Men would pay a handsome fee to take me to dinner. Or to just talk to me.

Life was good. I had about a dozen men to choose from to become my husband, but none suited me. I was too beautiful for them all. I deserved much better than them.

They had flaws. I had no flaws.

I was perfect.

* * *

My parents had been asking me who I would choose to marry. When I couldn't choose they decided to do it for me. They chose Ted Hutty. I would have rather died than marry _**him.**_He was a small man with a huge nose and yellow teeth to match. How could **I **marry **him**? Like I said, I would rather die.

I decided to take a walk the next day, down by the banks of the river. It was spring time and there were little pink flowers floating on the water.

They would look so pretty in my hair. Therefore adding to my already brilliant beauty

I tried to reach for the flower. It was too far away. I leaned in more, but suddenly I began to slip. Then I was in the water.

The cool water floated around my head, around my body.

And I was strangely calm underneath it.

There were other beautiful things under the water.

Rings and necklaces.

But the longer I watched them the dimmer they got.

Until everything went black.

* * *

I felt like I was on fire

The fire burned through my veins. I tried screaming but no sound came out.

It was like my body forgot how to work.

The pain kept getting worse and worse and I thought I couldn't handle it

for a minute longer.

I longed to be under the water again. With all the pretty things. Pretty things like me.

I would rather be anywhere else then here, wherever I was, experiencing such pain.

As the pain got worse I couldn't even think anymore.

My body began to shake, and my face was wet with tears and perspiration.

I tried to scream again and this time my body listened

It seemed like decades before the pain ended.

But just like that, it was gone. How could it just disappear so fast? Had I imagined it?

No.

I could never have imagined something that hurt so badly.

Was I dead?

I couldn't be dead, could I? What would the world do without my face?

What would my family do?

I opened my eyes to see three inhumanly beautiful faces starring right back at me.

There were two men and one woman.

The blonde man had his arm around the woman.

They smiled down at me.

The other man-no a boy, looked at me. He was pretty cute.

They explained to me what had happened, and what I had become.

I refused to accept it.

How could I, Rosalie be a Vampire?

Vampires were of course fairytales made to scare young children.

These people are crazy, I thought. I needed to get out of there before they did something to me.

They could kill me.

I ran out of the room and down some stairs and was suddenly filled with a sensation so strong. I had never felt anything like it before. I could smell the trees outside. I heard a twig snap. I could hear the people upstairs talking as if I were in the room with them. I saw a bug across the room walk around. I could see each of its legs and the hairs on each of them.

How could this be possible?

Was I really a vampire? And if so, what did I look like?

I made my way around the house looking for the bathroom. When I finally found it I looked into the mirror. What I saw in the mirror both pleased and startled me.

I was even more beautiful.

My hair had become more golden. My skin pale like the three people or vampires, upstairs. I examined my self more closely. My teeth were even more white than usual.

But something was different about me.

Then I realized.

I had blood red eyes.

Then I knew. I was a vampire.

* * *

I soon adapted to my new families ways. They didn't drink from humans but from animals. They pretended to be regular people, they went to school and had jobs.

But that wasn't enough for me. I wanted to be human. I never asked to be a vampire.

I had wanted to drown that day.

Although I was more beautiful, that still wasn't enough.

I was a monster. I drank blood.** I drank blood**. I would never die. My family would die, the men who went after me in my human life would also die. I would watch them all wither away. Here today, gone tomorrow.

I felt alone.

It didn't help that the one that I was made for, Edward, didn't want me.

He didn't **want** me!

In my whole life this had never happened before. I was always the one who didn't want them. I was too good for _them_.

What he was saying was that he was too good for _me_.

I wasn't attracted to him or anything,(he was kinda cute) but just the thought that someone didn't want me made me angry.

No matter how I dressed or what I did with my hair, he still showed no interest.

After another episode of this happening I got so angry that I began to feel hungry even though I hunted a week before.

So I went hunting again. I ran quickly into a forest nearby I could smell a bear and… something else. The sensation filled my nose and made my mouth fill with venom.

Human blood.

I found the bear mauling a man. I instantly felt connected to the man. Something about him… I had never felt that way before.

I wanted him.

And not just his blood.

I threw the bear off of his now limp body trying desperately not to sink my teeth into him.

I don't know how, but I made it home without tasting his blood. I hoped that I made it home in time for Carlisle to save him.

Carlisle came out of the house and brought him in. I needed to leave before my wild side took over and I finished him off.

I ran into the forest.

But I could still hear his screams of pain.

And for once I felt pain for another person other than myself.

* * *

When he woke up he was even more breathtaking. His body was huge. He had so many muscles I couldn't even count them. His face was cute. I knew he could see me staring.

He stared back

I was in love.

His name was Emmett

From then on we were inseparable. The perfect couple. He was the only one who could understand me.

Once when Edward saw us together, a look of jealousy came over his face.

I smiled pleased with myself. I had finally made him jealous.

But then I realized. He wanted a relationship like mine and Emmett's. Something he had never had. Not me.

When two more vampires joined our family (Alice and Jasper) they were a couple too. I saw the same look in Edwards eye as he looked at them.

I pitied him.

But he had his chance with me.

* * *

We had just moved to Forks a year before. We were going to the high school there. A year after a new girl came to our school.

Isabella Swan.

She definitely wasn't as pretty as me. But there was something about her. Something that made all of the boys at the school want her.

I was **enraged**.

How could a petty human compare to me?

And to add to that, even Edward was interested in her.

What did he see in her?

At first I thought that she was just a toy to him. He was fascinated with how human she was. How she blushed every time he looked at her. Or how her heart sped up at the mention of his name.

But I could tell there was more to it.

He loved her.

And she loved him.

I hated her.

What was wrong with me? I was practically throwing myself at him before and he still didn't care. But she blushes once and he's in love?

I was prettier then she was.

I was a vampire and she was a mere human.

I didn't understand.

She was ruining our family. Humans weren't supposed to know our secret.

She was going to expose us!

Didn't Edward know how dangerous this was?

My family said I was jealous.

How could I be jealous of her?? I was a vampire. I was beautiful. I had everything that she didn't. Except that she was human.

Ok. Maybe I was a little jealous.

But I would never tell anyone that.

Something about Bella had Edward hooked. I was pleased when he decided to leave Forks.

To leave **her**.

He left "for her own good". But I was still pleased.

I had my family back.

When Alice had a vision that Bella tried to commit suicide I was surprised.

She didn't seem like the type.

Oh well I thought. At least now Edward could get over her. Ever since he left he had been depressed. His moping made everyone else depressed too.

I called him.

And I told him.

Bad idea?

I guess so because he tried to kill himself by going to the Volturi.

Luckily Bella and Alice went to Volterra and stopped him.

If Edward had committed vampire suicide I would have never forgiven my self. Sometimes he got on my nerves but he was like family to me.

My family would never have forgiven me either.

At that point I thought maybe Bella wasn't so bad.

She had risked her life to save my brother.

She was ok

Just a little annoying.

But she wasn't bad if she made Edward happy.


	2. Uncontrolled, Jasper

**Uncontrolled**  
adj. Not under control, discipline, or governance.

Uncontrolled, Chaotic, Involuntary, Spontaneous, Uncivilized.

Jasper

I don't really like talking about my past before I became a Vampire.

I don't really like talking about my past at all.

After the change I belonged to a… coven. A coven that drank human blood.

I enjoyed being a Vampire. I had the power to control people's emotions. But something was missing.

I was missing something in my life.

My coven wasn't really a family. We just lived together. We tolerated each other.

It was pretty lonely. But I got used to being alone.

I was always alone as a child.

None of the other children would become my friend let alone stand near me.

Even then I was a freak.

In my human life I could always tell when people were uncomfortable, depressed, sad, even when they tried to hide it.

I could feel it rolling off of them like waves.

This is why I was a freak.

My parents… well they got over it pretty soon.

I was their "special" child.

But enough about my human life.

My Vampire life is way more interesting.

When I first woke up as a vampire after the leader of my coven changed me I was somewhat O.K with what I was.

I never had much of a human life and it was like taking a vacation from all the pain.

I quickly adapted to the Vampire way of living.

At first feeding off of humans disturbed me.

I felt like I was killing my own.

But I was no longer human.

And besides, how else was I supposed to eat?

I decided to leave my Coven after a few years.

There was nothing there for me.

And every day I felt this hole in my chest. I was missing something, but what?

I decided to go searching.

For whatever I was missing.

Every day the hole seemed to get larger and larger. I thought I couldn't take it anymore and then I met her.

* * *

I was in the forest one day, hoping to find some unsuspecting nature hiker to feast on when I saw her. She stood about 100 meters away from me but I knew that she was what I was looking for.

Her name was Alice. Her short pixie like hair stuck out in different directions. She smiled at me as if we had been old friends.

What I found out startled me.

She had been looking for something too.

She felt the same hole in her that I felt not too long ago. She was also a special Vampire. She could see things, she had visions, but they weren't set in stone.

The future could change.

She saw me in her vision. She saw that we would be together.

We grew closer and closer until finally I knew.

I loved Alice, more than anything in this world.

I would do anything for her.

* * *

Then Alice had a vision. There was a coven. They called themselves the Cullen's. But they weren't like my old coven. They called themselves Vegetarians.

They ate animal blood.

But animal blood would never taste as good a human blood.

How could they live that way?

But Alice wanted to live with them

So I would go where Alice went.

When I met the Cullen's, they seemed nice. They were different then my old coven. They actually felt something for each other. They called themselves a family.

There was Rosalie and Edward; I sensed some anger between these two. Between Rosalie and Emmett I felt love. I could feel the love they all shared for their "parents"

They welcomed Alice and I with open arms.

But starting their way of life was hard. Drinking animal blood just soothes the pain of the hunger for a little while. Human blood did the trick for me.

But I would never do that because it wasn't what Alice wanted.

She was my family now

They were my family too.

But everything got harder when we started going to Forks High School. There were humans all around me everyday.

Sometimes I couldn't even go to school because I was too afraid of what I might do to them.

My days consisted of imagining I was sucking one of them dry, then Edward reading my mind, then me feeling bad because I had hurt Alice.

I tried to be good for her, I really did.

My only safe place was our home

Away from all the humans, and their luscious scents.

Then Edward started acting weird.

I felt emotions coming off of him that I had never felt from him before.

Love

He loved that human girl? But why?

I didn't understand. I just knew that the feelings were there. And that she returned them. Soon they were together all of the time.

My safe place was destroyed.

I could smell her in my house

Her scent lingered in the halls.

Oh, how she smelled good.

Edward warned me not to come near her. I didn't blame him.

I couldn't control myself around her.

But I had to.

She was Alice's friend. I had to stop my self from thinking about her as a tasty meal.

For Alice.

* * *

A year had almost gone by and I hadn't attacked anyone.

Alice was so proud of me.

Even I was proud of myself.

Maybe I was getting the hang of this vegetarian thing.

Alice was all excited. It was Bella's birthday and she was going to make her a surprise birthday party. Alice decorated our whole house.

Finally Bella and Edward showed up. Bella smelled so good especially when she blushed. She was so happy that she blushed a lot.

The smell made me dizzy.

Bella began to open her gifts when suddenly her scent intensified twenty times more that it already was.

She had a** paper cut**

That's when I lost all control.

I jumped at her ready to sink my teeth into her nice warm body when my family stopped me.

The held me down and got Bella away from me.

Edward was furious. Alice looked hurt.

I was a disappointment

I had never felt so bad in my life.

I almost ate Bella

* * *

I sat around the house too angry at myself to go to school.

Alice tried to comfort me but I knew I had let her down.

Why couldn't I control myself?

Thanks to me, Edward has left Bella.

These are the thoughts that my family was probably thinking at the time. I was the cause of everyone's unhappiness.

And it was true.

If only I had more self control.

Everyone said it wasn't my fault, I'm new at this. But it was. I should have been more careful. And now Edward wasn't happy. I had noticed in this family that once Edward wasn't happy nobody was.

Edward decided to leave Forks. To protect Bella. I was pretty sure it was from me.

He was extremely unhappy. Everyone was unhappy. They had grown fond of Bella.

Even I missed her.

Then Alice had a vision.

Bella had jumped off of a cliff.

Alice was in a panic. She decided to go see if Bella had survived.

Meanwhile Rosalie called Edward.

Rosalie told Edward the news. I knew Rosalie was jealous of Bella but I didn't think she would do such a heartless thing. It made me angry. This was going to upset Alice.

Edward tried to kill himself using the Volturi.

I didn't think his love for Bella was that strong that he would die for her. I guess I underestimated any relationship that wasn't mine and Alice's.

Alice and Bella stopped Edward.

Everything was back to normal again.

Bella and Edward were back together. My family was happy.

Alice was happy.

I was happy.


End file.
